Excuse Me Miss

-- i almost wrote a blog entry about what happens in my life, then i got distracted by what happens in my head---

Excuse me miss didn't we meet yesterday, a couple of weeks ago
At Mark's poetry recital, over on 42nd street
Oh you dont know a Mark and never been to a poetry recital?
I must be mistaken then, please excuse me miss

Oh excuse me miss, did I meet you a week ago, a couple of months back
At the cafe over on 5th, with the live band
The soft rock band that made you feel older than you were
But happy that you were there
Not you? It was dark and i might be mistaken
Forgive me miss

Excuse me miss, didn't we met the other day, about 20minutes ago
We spoke about poetry and music and I rudely walked off before introducing myself
My name is Mark and if you are interested, I know a place on 42nd, I go there every month
If you dont have the time, then that is fine
We could make it next week, my brother plays in a house band on 5th

---i have no idea what happens next....options range from a chuckle to a dressing down...no physical abuse allowed---

Mr Depth

There are two things the world knows about me
I am not a racist
I am not shallow
So why are you smiling?
Are you a racist?
Are you shallow?
So why is it funny when i say it?

Look, I am color blind I make no distinction
The world is a shade of cream and it suits me fine
This we know and this i need not defend

But i am also not shallow
I am blind to physical features
I look to the heart
Pure personality is what interests me
Define pretty? define cute? or better yet hott?

In my eyes we are all simply plain
Rolling meadows of faces
No hills, or gullies or ravines
Just open grassland of unending plainess
This is how i see your face
This is how i view your body

So rest assured when you talk to me
its what beneath the surface that counts
That is why they call me Mr Depth
because in my mind you are plain and colourless..

Scenarios 2

Be prepared, ever ready
Be prepared, ever ready
Ready for what and ready for why?
For anything of course and just because

Because some day and one day
In a confined space they shall fart
Be ready, one deep breath and breathe no more
five, ten, twelve and fifteen more
You can save them the embarassment and you the awkwardness
do both

And because somewhere and anywhere
In a public place you shall be undone
Be ready, one quick step amd spin around
Quick hands and sharp mind and zip some more
You can smile with confidence and act with quickness
do both

Furthermore because maybe and just maybe
In a moment you can be called
Be ready, to listen and to hold
A soft heart and open arms and tears galore
You can share the sadness and be their strongness
do both

"Your Honour I Object!"1

Your honour I object!
On all grounds I must protest
I deny their right to speak freely
I assert my right not to listen

Think me a barbarian, backward or repressed
But your honour i must object
They speak before thinking
and it is nonsense upon foolishness

Yes they are human as I
Yes I am not inherently any better
Yes you must protect the minority
Yes your honour

But your honour there is a reason they are the minority
They are weak of mind!
Illogical in presentation and elementary in understanding
So object I must And in contempt I will stand
No i will not settle or sit, do your worst!

Sorry your honour,i beg your indulgence
Ten days your honour!?
Your worst is truly bad
Is there no forgiveness? What about my rights?
Just a moment bailiff and I will resist no longer.

Tell me your honour, answer and buy my silence
Yea everyman has his rights
But how can a man deserve his rights
When he will not lay them aside to take up his responsibilities...

I rest my case

A little pleasure

Sliding in
and letting go
Just a little pleasure

To and fro
here and there
just a little pleasure

with reckless abandon
and without a care
just a little pleasure

no more to say
and all things aside
just a little pleasure

falling into bed
and crawling into sleep
is such a little pleasure

Scenarios1

I am a boyscout and I must be prepared, this is the thought at the front of my mind
No matter what, where, how or when I must be ready
On my guard and ever prepared
For what you ask....everything i say

So i speak to myself and say

Firstly, you really like a girl and you really have a phone
You will really phone that girl and you will really say something stupid
Be prepared! when conversation runs low
Either throw down the corniest pick up line you have or ask her to have coffee with you
Let your last impression be purposeful or funny
Or both

Nextly you will one day have a child and they will one day go to school
They will next day get beat up and the next day cry to you
Be prepared! when advice is asked of you
Either teach them how to punch or teach them how to kick
or both

Potentially, you see a pretty face and they may potentially like your face
You may potentially cross the room and she may potentially fall for you
Be prepared! when courage is demanded of you
Slowly walk across the room and say "how do you do" or " I will change your life"
Or both


Be prepared....

The Upside of Life

Five random thoughts set out from their homes to find Coherence. At an intersection of life they happened upon each other and these merry travellers banded together. This is the story of these five, this is a martin report...

1.Always look on the bright side of life is whistled at the end of the Monty Python's "The Life of Brian" by a group of men crucified and waiting to die.
2.I said to a friend on the phone on the other day that I think i am getting better looking with age and she did not laugh.
3.I have the best 9month old niece on the planet.
4.Not all babies are born cute.
5.My life is far from complete and trying to imitate contemporary dance makes me laugh.

When you put all these things together the only logical conclusion is that you are better off being born a little ugly. How is this the conclusion well you see my friend R and I stood back as a group of women oogled a little lad and pinched his cheeks and proclaiming his cuteness. R then pointed out to me that the boy had a rather large head and was not very good looking but added...."at least he has time to grow handsome"
Now my niece does not have this problem as she was born A LOT good looking, unlike me who was born just a little good looking (chubby cheeks) and perhaps grew up a little ugly looking in the middle and now all i have is upside...and backside...

Now no one wants to be born A LOT ugly,because you will invariably be stuck like that, but just a little aint bad. Me, I think i was born a little good looking and perhaps grew up a little ugly and that suits me fine. My life is a little like my looks, it is sometimes a little ugly and a little good looking and right now it is perhaps somewhere in between. Thing is though that it always has upside and i see it is important to always look on the bright side of things. It is worth remembering that its not always a bad thing that you dont look like your baby pictures anymore. Its nice to know that your keg can become a 6-pack and that when you are hanging around and things seem at an end, you can whistle a happy tune, fade to black and get ready to play all over again.


So in conclusion its ok being born a little ugly, not a lot ugly but a little. That is if you realise that although some things may never be as you want them, you have a lot of upside ahead of you....

p.s- this martin report is posted as a blog for good reason but i am a little tired, not a lot tired and would rather not get into it right now...