Sticks and Stones

Thinking less of me

2008-03-20T20:28:00.001-07:00

If we would look long and hard with a gaze steady and true
You would think less of yourself than I do
Yea I would seem some faults but temper it with virtue
And I would have some doubts but them intersperse with faith
But if I would stare hard in the looking glass and long in the pool of truth
I must think less of me than you do

For to think myself refined lulls me into remaining blunt
Prepping and garnishing the trimmings of propriety
Fretting and fussing to place display my finery
Forgetting that yesterday's blade must be sharpened today to be of use tomorrow

As I marvel at what I know I fail to hear the sound of my ignorance's growth
I teach I teach till I am convinced I know
I apply each principle daily never testing its frailty
Content in what I know, not knowing the wisdom to be found in measuring one's ignorance

So let me rest in my strength and proud in the boast that nothing has bested me
Secure in a foolish truth and not understanding that nothing has tested me
Failing to see that only that which is broken learns to be strong
That it is after the punishment of constant battle that the arm can be held high

So let me think less of myself than you do
So I may press on and push forward to be better than I knew
So my eye will not be too haughty while my goals remain always lofty
I will think less of me than you do
And if I find you to be of any good measure, I will think less of you too

Men and Giants

2007-11-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

In a land of little men, not a thing changes
The problems are too big and the men too small
The dearth of character abounds as its depth diminishes
The interests of men dominates any interest in men
This is the way of the little man and this is his land

The sadness of little men however lies elsewhere
For some were born strong and brave
others born with a fire deep and a fire hot
Birthed with the dreams for ten generations after
Carrying the hope of ten generations before

Then these men settled,
They saw rights above responsibility
They embraced freedoms with no consequence
They accepted the limitations of lesser men
They did not test the truth peddled by the dullard
They did not question the vision of the dreamless
They did not search the heart of the cold
They did not dare do battle with those that held the gates

Listen now little man , a reckoning is at hand
We have heard of a generation of giants
Beating with the heart of their fathers
Carrying the hopes of their mothers
Crying the tears of their sisters
living the dreams of their unborn sons
Listen close little man, a battle is near
For justice and peace
For dignity and truth
For the inheritance of this land
For it is a time for change!

The world is getting better

2007-11-13T22:52:00.000-08:00

I tell you the world is getting better
It is bigger, stronger, faster, smarter
I tell you the world is getting better
Less children dying and mothers crying
I would tell you the world is getting better
But you would not believe me

Yet again I tell you the world is getting better
There is less polluting and more conserving
More healing and less sickness
I have more and so do you
I will get more and so will you
I have told you the world is getting better
But do not believe me

It is more important to know that the world can do much better

separate ways

2007-08-17T17:52:00.001-07:00

ok my blog and facebook notes and anything else i write will now be going their separate ways...i.e. you wont be getting the same thing posted in two places, the time for that is past...
what will be the difference now?

the blog will have the more structured thinking stuff
and facebook will have the unstructured stuff that makes you shake your head and know i havent changed....

anyway no need to explain...the difference should be obvious...hope you keep reading both!:-)

Sucks and Blows

2007-08-11T19:04:00.001-07:00

Sucks and Blows 11^th August 2007

So what if it works out fine?

Stick this up your positive outlook

Right now, right here it sucks

It sucks and it blows

At the same time!!

Don’t lower your voice at me

That will not calm me down

Don’t shrug your shoulders like you are better than me!

You better shut it before I assess your options

I said it sucks and it definitely blows

Don’t touch me

You touch me and I will sunny your disposition

So help me I will kick you in your brighter side

You don’t get it

Ok let me help you understand

It hurts, right here

It hurts in the place where I cannot fix it

It hurts where you can’t kiss and make it better

And when it hurts, it sucks

It sucks and it blows

At the same time!

So don’t be telling me to calm down

Excuse Me Miss

2007-08-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

-- i almost wrote a blog entry about what happens in my life, then i got distracted by what happens in my head---

Excuse me miss didn't we meet yesterday, a couple of weeks ago
At Mark's poetry recital, over on 42nd street
Oh you dont know a Mark and never been to a poetry recital?
I must be mistaken then, please excuse me miss

Oh excuse me miss, did I meet you a week ago, a couple of months back
At the cafe over on 5th, with the live band
The soft rock band that made you feel older than you were
But happy that you were there
Not you? It was dark and i might be mistaken
Forgive me miss

Excuse me miss, didn't we met the other day, about 20minutes ago
We spoke about poetry and music and I rudely walked off before introducing myself
My name is Mark and if you are interested, I know a place on 42nd, I go there every month
If you dont have the time, then that is fine
We could make it next week, my brother plays in a house band on 5th

---i have no idea what happens next....options range from a chuckle to a dressing down...no physical abuse allowed---

Mr Depth

2007-07-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

There are two things the world knows about me
I am not a racist
I am not shallow
So why are you smiling?
Are you a racist?
Are you shallow?
So why is it funny when i say it?

Look, I am color blind I make no distinction
The world is a shade of cream and it suits me fine
This we know and this i need not defend

But i am also not shallow
I am blind to physical features
I look to the heart
Pure personality is what interests me
Define pretty? define cute? or better yet hott?

In my eyes we are all simply plain
Rolling meadows of faces
No hills, or gullies or ravines
Just open grassland of unending plainess
This is how i see your face
This is how i view your body

So rest assured when you talk to me
its what beneath the surface that counts
That is why they call me Mr Depth
because in my mind you are plain and colourless..

Scenarios 2

2007-07-12T20:56:00.001-07:00

Be prepared, ever ready
Be prepared, ever ready
Ready for what and ready for why?
For anything of course and just because

Because some day and one day
In a confined space they shall fart
Be ready, one deep breath and breathe no more
five, ten, twelve and fifteen more
You can save them the embarassment and you the awkwardness
do both

And because somewhere and anywhere
In a public place you shall be undone
Be ready, one quick step amd spin around
Quick hands and sharp mind and zip some more
You can smile with confidence and act with quickness
do both

Furthermore because maybe and just maybe
In a moment you can be called
Be ready, to listen and to hold
A soft heart and open arms and tears galore
You can share the sadness and be their strongness
do both

"Your Honour I Object!"1

2007-07-12T20:42:00.001-07:00

Your honour I object!
On all grounds I must protest
I deny their right to speak freely
I assert my right not to listen

Think me a barbarian, backward or repressed
But your honour i must object
They speak before thinking
and it is nonsense upon foolishness

Yes they are human as I
Yes I am not inherently any better
Yes you must protect the minority
Yes your honour

But your honour there is a reason they are the minority
They are weak of mind!
Illogical in presentation and elementary in understanding
So object I must And in contempt I will stand
No i will not settle or sit, do your worst!

Sorry your honour,i beg your indulgence
Ten days your honour!?
Your worst is truly bad
Is there no forgiveness? What about my rights?
Just a moment bailiff and I will resist no longer.

Tell me your honour, answer and buy my silence
Yea everyman has his rights
But how can a man deserve his rights
When he will not lay them aside to take up his responsibilities...

I rest my case

A little pleasure

2007-07-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

Sliding in
and letting go
Just a little pleasure

To and fro
here and there
just a little pleasure

with reckless abandon
and without a care
just a little pleasure

no more to say
and all things aside
just a little pleasure

falling into bed
and crawling into sleep
is such a little pleasure

Scenarios1

2007-07-03T11:58:00.000-07:00

I am a boyscout and I must be prepared, this is the thought at the front of my mind
No matter what, where, how or when I must be ready
On my guard and ever prepared
For what you ask....everything i say

So i speak to myself and say

Firstly, you really like a girl and you really have a phone
You will really phone that girl and you will really say something stupid
Be prepared! when conversation runs low
Either throw down the corniest pick up line you have or ask her to have coffee with you
Let your last impression be purposeful or funny
Or both

Nextly you will one day have a child and they will one day go to school
They will next day get beat up and the next day cry to you
Be prepared! when advice is asked of you
Either teach them how to punch or teach them how to kick
or both

Potentially, you see a pretty face and they may potentially like your face
You may potentially cross the room and she may potentially fall for you
Be prepared! when courage is demanded of you
Slowly walk across the room and say "how do you do" or " I will change your life"
Or both

Be prepared....

The Upside of Life

2007-06-18T19:21:00.001-07:00

Five random thoughts set out from their homes to find Coherence. At an intersection of life they happened upon each other and these merry travellers banded together. This is the story of these five, this is a martin report...

1.Always look on the bright side of life is whistled at the end of the Monty Python's "The Life of Brian" by a group of men crucified and waiting to die.
2.I said to a friend on the phone on the other day that I think i am getting better looking with age and she did not laugh.
3.I have the best 9month old niece on the planet.
4.Not all babies are born cute.
5.My life is far from complete and trying to imitate contemporary dance makes me laugh.

When you put all these things together the only logical conclusion is that you are better off being born a little ugly. How is this the conclusion well you see my friend R and I stood back as a group of women oogled a little lad and pinched his cheeks and proclaiming his cuteness. R then pointed out to me that the boy had a rather large head and was not very good looking but added...."at least he has time to grow handsome"
Now my niece does not have this problem as she was born A LOT good looking, unlike me who was born just a little good looking (chubby cheeks) and perhaps grew up a little ugly looking in the middle and now all i have is upside...and backside...

Now no one wants to be born A LOT ugly,because you will invariably be stuck like that, but just a little aint bad. Me, I think i was born a little good looking and perhaps grew up a little ugly and that suits me fine. My life is a little like my looks, it is sometimes a little ugly and a little good looking and right now it is perhaps somewhere in between. Thing is though that it always has upside and i see it is important to always look on the bright side of things. It is worth remembering that its not always a bad thing that you dont look like your baby pictures anymore. Its nice to know that your keg can become a 6-pack and that when you are hanging around and things seem at an end, you can whistle a happy tune, fade to black and get ready to play all over again.

So in conclusion its ok being born a little ugly, not a lot ugly but a little. That is if you realise that although some things may never be as you want them, you have a lot of upside ahead of you....

p.s- this martin report is posted as a blog for good reason but i am a little tired, not a lot tired and would rather not get into it right now...

Color Blind

2007-06-06T17:46:00.001-07:00

In this life of mine there are many things that occupy my mind.

I have in the past few hours contemplated the things that would cause me the greatest sadness.I have wrestled with finding an alternative to my inadequacies

But now my mind moves to other things. My mind moves to inter racial marriage and how it needs to happen to me or someone close to me. Now you all have reactions to reading this and frankly, I don’t care because I am telling you it would be one of the most interesting things to observe. The simultaneous destruction and reinforcement of stereotypes… the reactions of family and friends and the entry into a society hitherto unknown.

Now I hear you asking why this is interesting to one such as me, who sees no color. Yes it is true that I see the whole world in a peculiar shade of cream but years of learning has taught me how to recognize different races.

1. Dance – if you dance to the melody and not the rhythm then you are lighter than the other lot

2. Volume – if you think the way to deal with people speaking loudly is to speak louder, you are darker than the other lot

3. Physical reaction – if your first reaction to trouble is to run…well you know who you are

Back to the matter at hand, in all truth I don’t know if I want to marry outside my shade of cream but I am fascinated by the idea. There is so much that stands against it and so many seeds to be planted for its success. In the midst of all we live in, it is a strange flower to bloom but one that I welcome. It at least gives me hope that in the future children will be born who like me will see in a shade of cream

N:B – Don’t tell me that I should be seeing grey, because even colorblind people like me know that would just be silly

Ruthless

2007-05-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

Song: Chelsea
Artist: A caucasian girl lamenting the theft of her boyfriend
Rating: This song rocks hard
Why it rocks: It lets me assert that I am masculine enough to sing catchy gender inappropriate songs

So i was in a room where an interesting debate began
The subject matter whether or not children today were bred "soft"
Too much cuddling and cajolling
Too much participation and not enough competition
"Everybody is a winner"
Even the losers

It was an interesting debate the outcome of which i do not know
The outcome does not interest me, for it calls to mind greater things
How shall i raise my "winner"kids
The answer is this and it is simple
They shall be ruthless

No quarter given No quarter requested
No victory is complete till it is total
There are those that win
There are those that lose
That is true and that is life
They shall be ruthless

Ruthless in victory
Ruthless in mercy
Ruthless in victory for it is the unwavering goal
Ruthless in mercy because it gives the hope to ready for the next battle

A song called Saduva(has nothing to do with this post)

2007-05-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

The song starts by saying "i dont want to hang out anymore with all the people that used to be my friends"

I am learning to talk again
Maybe i never forgot how to but I definitely forgot that I should do

And it goes on "Mama please dont cry...dont you weep mama...wipe your tears I will heed your call"

So i am starting to talk again
Not just about some of the things I do but about the person that I am
So i think I shall hang out anew with all the people that used to be my friends
Telling them about who i am becoming and listening to them tell me who i already am

So lets talk

5 + 2

2007-05-17T19:09:00.001-07:00

I need 5 days to get it right and two more just for fun
I get Monday to try and Tuesday the real work's begun
Wednesday to pray that Thursdays o.k.
Friday for hope that my Saturday is great
And Sunday prepares me to start all over again

It is a beautiful thing a week for it always starts at its end
It is a terrible thing a week because at the start I pray for its end

My Favoritest Word (part 2)

2007-05-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

6am and the unwelcome noise wakes me up. I reach for my alarm but it is this time innocent so I hearing the dulcet tones of Fields of Gold I reach for my phone. In a daze of a blur I say "hey" and the sound of silence chased by tears precedes the words "hey" and now alert I reply "hey". The news is sad and tears at my heart but "hey" what can I say or do, Mr Incredible had lost his little boy,"hey"these things happen and like a thief in the night his life had been snatched away. The doctor said it was natural causes but that made it ever harder to accept. I mean "hey"these things dont happen to kids and "hey"not the kids of good people...Talking to Mrs Incredible , words fail me and her quiet acceptance of what had happened was beyond me....She had tired from asking why because all everyone could say was "hey.."before their voices trailed into the silence that was set all about them...

Fellow Travellers

2007-05-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

"Snap your fingers, two step...you can do it all by yourself.." I am starting to question my musical tastes as my recent itunes purchases are either evidence of being a true eclectic or mere confusion.

I have had cause to think of late about my friends and who my true friends are. You can say that my friends and i are in transit, on our way to a place we know but not having the most fun getting there.The journey takes its toll and sometimes you wonder why you didn't just wait for the next train and you cannot help but think what would have been if you had made different choices about the path you chose and if you had not rushed to get places.
So i think a little more and glance at my travelling companions and in the silence that surrounds us, the mute understanding that we share the same bus but are headed to different destinations sets in. And in that moment you cannot help but wonder what we have in common that brought us to this place and what brings us back together day after day,surely we could all choose another way to get where we need to be...

That being said I know that they would not let me get left behind and if we ever lose touch, I know they will be waiting at the next stop because as fellow travellers, they and i.....me and them are inextricably linked....

i am starting to enjoy public transport in the strangest of ways.....

Fizzically Fit...Fizzically fit

2007-05-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

Sing along "woman you fizzically fit, fizzically fit" hahahaha if you dont know what song tht is from, i dont feel like telling you. One day you will hear it and think of me...that thought comforts me..
So i have been trying to get in the best shape of my life...fizzically that is and its been a strange road. I am at a point where I am not seeing the results I would like but I am pressing on and trying to do different things.
Recently it really dawned on me that I needed to up my Cardiovascular exercisation (if silly words like cardiovascular can exist i can make up what i want). So I have been running a few days each week for a few weeks now and today I was captured by a black and white still in Newsweek of a running of the NYC marathon in the 70s.. I was drawn in by all those people and I decided I must be there...

To put my decision in context, NYC is a place I really want to visit( am a city slicker) and several people I work with are in training for marathons in different parts of the country...so it has been decided that I shall be in NYC for the running of the NYC Marathon and I shall be there early at the start and jostle for good position, I want to be in the very front to watch a few thousand people run 26miles for no good reason!! To watch them walk down the stairs the next day in agony and to have lost 5% of their muscle mass and 3inches of height...

I have recently invented the exercisation rule that works for me....A mile a day keeps the doctor a way.....26miles is just being an overachiever!

p.s- count all your steps, if you dont use the remote and actually get of your hind you can add an extra 200 feet to your mile total!!

Confessions of a sulky little boy

2007-05-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

The lyrics of the song go "my life be like ooh aah ooh oooh, its times like these that make me say..Lord if you see me please come my way. Leaving breadcrumbs for when I stray"

I have spent the better part of the day with a heart filled with a 'righteous' discontent and annoyane over something that happened today. Now as the day comes to a close I ask myself when I shall learn to lay things at the feet of God and not at the base of my heart. I also wonder when I shall reach a point where I can stand above the small annoyances of this world.

I confess to still being a sulky little boy but the Lord hears me and He always comes my way..

Need Love, Will Travel

2007-05-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

I was lying on the couch and feeling down in the dumps. I have slept poorly of late and although my mind would like to make more of this Friday night, my body lends me no support and my social circl is still working on actually becoming round like a circle....its distinctly linear at the moment..i can muster a triangle at the most..
With these thoughts in my mind I chose the subject of this post...then Fantasia came on and she sang to me and she said "you're always on my mind, when you came around i get shy.." and so what could i do but blush. So as i take this trip down an escapist path, marvelling at the places I can travel to she said to me "you sexay boy, never know when you might walk by...so i got to be right on time" and i smiled. Now some of you will laugh at me and I await the accusations of "celebrity obsession"and the "you think shes hott?" questions and some of you are wondering how this all ties together(believer me so am i)...
I guess the bottom line today is that sometimes to get the things I need, my mind is the only vehicle required and it never hurts when she "puts my picture on her mirror...as she lays her head on her pillow staring out the window" and says those wonderful words...YOU SEXAY BOWY!!!

:-)

Tubthumping

2007-05-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

I actually dont know what i am going to say. My line of thought is simply " i get knocked down but i get up again, you're never gonna keep me down....i get knocked down! but i get up again(we'll be singing...ooo oooo...when we're winning) "

You know if you ever walk up to me singing that song and jumping and shaking your head, you will make me the happiest man in that moment. One of my small pleasures at work is keeping a straight face while writing in my blog(like now) and a greater pleasure is the way my feet dance under my desk. Give me music and give me more and I can assure you that the godfather of soul's legacy is apparent to all who would go sit under my desk....why they would want to do that, well thats another matter altogether

"no matter how hard i try, you keep pushing me aside and i cant breakthrough, theres no talking to you.......but after all is said and done, you going to be the lonely one....do you vbelieve in life after love?" (go crazy legs gooooooooooooo...woooo,work has never been this much fun)

Fat free...

2007-04-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

Soundtrack: I am in love with a "dancer"?

so i was thinking these few weeks about how i am driven to find originial ideas. it used to paralyse me at university and i turned in some pretty poor academic work because i constantly searched for the wheel and as i chiselled it i would find it alreay existed or that square was not its best shape.
ANYWAY!! I think I have found it...fat free baby food...it is an untapped market and guess what you can create artificial dmeand whenever you need it! It is money making brilliance...if sales drop you just get people to have more sssssssoooo i think its a good idea :-)
My fat free baby food will be called Baby DeLITE...

Ok peoples that is my rant for the day, i had something else to say but I forgot as I invented the wheel..

My Favoritest word

2007-04-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

So i was thinking the other day that my most favoritest word is "hey", so you need to work with me here. I was standing looking suave by the bar and the little miss wonderful sashayed past me and i said "hey". As she stopped and stared dear Bobby walked into the room and he said "hey"and with a wave and hug i said "hey". As he walks off he looks at little miss beautiful, gives me a nod and a wink and says "hey" then he adds "hey, dont forget about the game tomorrow".

So sitting in the bleachers the teams are announced and the crowd says "hey". In the uproar of emotion big mr excitement spills his drink and little mr unexcited says "hey" and as all the boys take their seats we look at eachother and say "hey". Bottom of the ninth and dirty miss yesterday bats her eyelids and says "hey" and i wrinkle mine and dryily say "hey" and as she and Mr Tuesday engage in a gratuitous show of affection, Bobby taps me and says "hey"...he points a few rows down and I see little Ms Beautiful sashaying up the stairs and stopping in front of me she says "hey"and looking at her I search for the perfect word to describe her moment and finding it my tongue coils and lips purse and i say.......

My life is frustrating me

2007-04-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

My life is frustrating me, really it is
Its like standing on the edge of something and never seeing whats on the horizon
Its like falling and not hitting the ground
Its like being in the front row and not seeing over the rails
Its finding yourself only to learn you have changed.

Its like breaking barriers and breaking your bones
it is to be the knight that comes to the rescue, that is thanked and left to clean up
it is to be tired and know you can still go on
it is trying to fake illness and feeling strong

The greatest show on earth
The greatest performance of all time
and not a bout of nerves
It frustrates me because every wave that crashes, breaks against me and leaves me standing
It frustrates because I see things clearly, the glory and the glorious mud
It frustrates me, this being me because even as I scream for release...it comes

I pray in King James and other things

2007-04-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to myself and what I hear amuses me
I pray in King James english and tell stories in rhyme
I make jokes so as to maintain the pentameter
And would rather write to imitate poetry than use punctuation...

I speak how i want to sound and not based on what i want to say
So it seems in my world punctuation is damned and function must bow to form
So if you dont understand of what i speak and for you oddity defines the way i speak
That is but fine and dandy, its just what happens when you pray in King James English

A Hypocrite's Oath?

2007-04-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

They say a man who says one thing and does another is a liar at best and a hypocrite at the worst.
Then we see that the man who knows what he should do and doesnt do it, is yellow in the belly and lilly livered.
Then with the same lips they say the christian that does not live as heshould is human...

I have been troubled many times in the past few weeks by this line of thinking.It simplifies things far too much and breeds resistance within me. To call myself a Christian then I must "do the right thing".

I must choose right without thought of consequence, make the right decision in the face of detriment and accept that my knowledge of who i am has already decided what i will do and how i will choose. To do otherwise...well that is not really an option for me..not for me

Syphillis!!!

2007-04-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

So you see my good peoples, I sat down to write and two things were on my mind
1. Syphillis
2. People who dont look their age.

I decided to write about no 2, so figured no 1 should get the headline. Now for those of you who will insist I explain my mental contraction of Syphilis(sounds nasty!) follow the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UtQguSTzvg

So i shared a metro car, a bus stop and a bus ride with a man who I could not stop staring at. His eyes, language and actions spoke to me to declare us peers. His clothes chimed in to support tis notion but his face!?! His face!! So i could not stop looking at this fellow who in my mind must have looked 20 at 14 and 18 at 7....sadly he walked to the back of the bus and there my observations ended. I started thinking afresh of this man then Syphillis broke my train of thought and so I thought I would share Syphillis with you, in the hope you would suffer like I have and you too would know what it is like to contract Syphillis mentally!

ta ta

Brand new old things

2007-04-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

Hey public, i have had my xanga blog for many weeks now but i have had just as many complaints about it. In the main because it demands you sign up before adding your comments. So i move home and now place old wine in a new wineskin....

i shall be reposting material over the next few weeks